


Mirrors

by airandangels



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Aftermath, Confrontations, F/F, Gen, Near Future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-18
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-04-10 00:47:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4370852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/airandangels/pseuds/airandangels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This snippet of a story presupposes certain things that haven’t happened yet in Steven Universe.  I’m writing just at the end of Stevenbomb II.  I’m just going to employ a little bit of Future Vision and look ahead to a possible future in which Lapis Lazuli has been rescued from under the sea, Jasper has been safely poofed and bubbled and Lapis brought back to Beach City by the Gems, Steven and Connie (who helped as part of Stevonnie).  And now, there’s aftermath.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mirrors

Lapis Lazuli had said that she wanted to be alone.  Steven had still tried to follow her, like a puppy, and drooped like a puppy when she closed the screen door behind her before he could get to it.  Since then he had been kneeling with his nose pressed to the window, looking down at her where she sat on the beach, her feet in the ripples at the water’s edge.  Pearl was doing her level best not to interfere, sitting quietly on the sofa with a book, but as the evening wore on she was relieved to see him nod and then slump drowsily onto the windowsill.  

_That_  made it all right to go and gently pick him up, and gather him close and treasure the warm weight of him in her arms, the soft smell of the back of his neck and the hair he still washed with baby shampoo.  He stirred and rubbed his cheek on her shoulder, snuggling in sleepily.  Pearl hitched him up, wishing for a moment she had hips like Amethyst’s or Garnet’s for him to sit on, and made soothing little sounds, stroking the back of his head.

“Is she still out there?” Steven mumbled sleepily.

“Yes.  She’s all right.  It’s time you were in bed, Steven.  You’ve had an awfully big day.”  She started across the room to climb the stairs to his little sleeping loft.

“Pearl…”

“You did so well.  We’re all proud of you.  You can rest now.”

“But Pearl…” Steven pushed back from her and looked into her face, his own rather puffy around the eyes.  “I’ll go to bed, but will you go talk to her?”

“I don’t think -”

_“Someone’s_ got to talk to her,” Steven said wretchedly.  “Please.”

“All right,” she said, taking the first step up.  “All right.”

 

She didn’t like ever to lie to Steven, even a little white lie for his own good, but she didn’t feel happy about going down to the beach and that huddled blue figure.  Garnet and Amethyst had both gone to their own rooms, saying they were tired out, and she didn’t blame them.  The guilt they all felt when they looked at Lapis was overwhelming, but it wasn’t going to get any better by avoiding her.  So Pearl squared her shoulders and lifted her head and descended the steps from the deck and crossed the beach to where the sand grew damp.

Her courage faltered as the cold seeped through her slippers, and it almost failed entirely when Lapis spoke.  Without looking at Pearl, in a low voice she asked, “What do  _you_  want?”

Pearl clasped her hands together over her chest and managed to say, “To apologise?”

There was no answer, but there was also no rejection.  Lapis just sat there, her skinny shoulders hunched and her head bowed forward.  The teardrop gemstone between her shoulder blades gleamed dimly in the moonlight.

Pearl steadied herself, feet in first position, and tried to begin.  “I’m so sorry,” she said.  “I know Garnet and Amethyst are too.  We made a terrible mistake.”

“I’ll say,” Lapis mumbled.  She pushed her foot forward through the damp sand, her heel leaving a groove that filled up with salt water.

Carefully, Pearl knelt down beside and a little behind her.  “I know it doesn’t make what you went through any easier,” she said, “but if we had known - well, we made a mistake.  We didn’t realise there was a living Gem powering the mirror.  We thought it was only a broken shard, you know, using the last of the energy as a power source.  I had  _no_  idea that towards the end they were putting  _living_  Gems into devices.”

“It was supposed to be an honour,” Lapis said glumly.  “I belonged to Blue Diamond.  She chose me.”

“I belonged to Rose Quartz,” Pearl said softly.  “But she always gave me a choice.”  She looked at her hands, the long, pale fingers nervously twining together.  “What I mean is, we wouldn’t have done that to you if we had known.  When we found out I felt terrible.  I thought I was just giving Steven an - an educational toy, not a  _prisoner.”_

“I get it,” Lapis said.  Her tone hadn’t changed.

“I’m so sorry,” Pearl tried again.  “I know that you must have been terribly lonely and homesick.  If there’s anything I can do to make things better for you now, please just tell me.  Please.”

“I remember you,” Lapis said thoughtfully.  “In fact, I probably saw the most of you.  You were usually sad.  You asked me again and again to show you Homeworld, and I tried.  I showed you the places that meant the most to me.  I hoped you would understand.”

“I wish I had,” Pearl said.  “They were beautiful.  I wondered why it was always places near water.  It seemed like you… like the mirror knew what I wanted to see.”  

“But it took Steven to see  _me.”_   Lapis lifted her head, looking out at the calm ocean.  

“He is a wonderful child,” Pearl said, with feeling.  “Seeing you protect him, do everything you could for him, no matter what it cost you… it meant so much to me, to all of us.  We will always be grateful to you.  There’ll always be a place for you here.  Steven wouldn’t want it any other way.”

“I can’t live with you,” Lapis said flatly.  “I can’t go back into your temple.  It was prison to me.”

“But Steven…”

“I’m not leaving him,” Lapis interrupted her.  “Steven is the only reason being stuck on this planet is worthwhile.  He’s the only person who really cares about me.  I’m going to stay, but I’ll make my own place.  I’ll go into the sea again, but not far.  Not deep.  I’ll be here for him.”

“He’s not the only person,” Pearl protested.  “I understand that he’s special to you, but please don’t think the rest of us don’t care.”

“What are you going to do with Jasper?”  Lapis asked suddenly, her head snapping around.  Watery eyes glared at Pearl.

“Jasper?” Pearl repeated, startled by the change of subject.  “Well, we - that is, I - she’s perfectly safe where she is right now, and -”

“Oh, so you’ll just keep her like that?  Keep her a prisoner?” Lapis jumped to her feet, her fists clenched and shaking.

“I don’t understand why you care so much about Jasper.  It’s not as if she cared about you,” Pearl protested.  “You were the one who saw she had to be imprisoned.”

“I had no other choice!  I was alone!  You’ve never been alone!  And - and do you know how they _make_  Jaspers?”

“Er, I suppose, perhaps, a kindergarten?”

“Oh, they’re more efficient than that now.  She told me about it on the journey here.  She  _bragged_ about it, she was  _proud_  of what she’d gone through, what they’d  _done_ to her.  She thought it made her strong.  I hate her.  I hate her!  But I can’t stand for her to be hurt any more.”  Tears were running down Lapis’ face now, silvery in the moonlight.

“She isn’t in any pain,” Pearl said.  “Bubbling doesn’t hurt.”

“But she  _knows!_   She knows she’s trapped!  You don’t think that hurts?  How many Gems are your prisoners, Pearl?”  One small foot stamped, raising a splash.

Pearl hugged herself, wishing with all her heart that Rose was here.  Rose would know how to explain this, how to get Lapis to see why it had to be this way.  “We didn’t have a choice either,” she said, fighting to keep her voice steady.  “Yes, we have prisoners.  Lots of them.  But they’re not sentient Gems.  They were corrupted by the war.  They went rogue.  We tried to do the right thing!  To take responsibility!  We couldn’t let them be free.  All the monsters humans believe in, all the dragons and demons and nightmares, those are all Gems!  We brought that horror to their world and it’s up to us to keep it contained.”

“So how long are you planning to sit on them?” Lapis demanded.  

“Forever, if we have to!  We don’t know what else to do!  Even Rose… even Rose Quartz didn’t know how to heal them, or reach them.  But we think perhaps Steven will.  He’ll find out how.  That was one of her last wishes, that was why she gave up her physical form to give him life.  Everything depends on Steven, and we can’t even  _tell_  him that.  Can you imagine what that pressure would do to a little boy?  It’s hard enough for him as it is.  You’ve seen him, how he tries.  He’s so brave, and so beautiful, but he’s so  _little_  and  _soft_  and he’s my  _baby.”_

Some of the fury had gone out of Lapis’ face and body, and confusion had taken its place.  It seemed like a confusion that hoped to understand, though.  “You sound human,” she said.  “Human, or mortal, or…  _baby_  is not a Gem idea.”

“No,” Pearl admitted.  “It’s not.  But it’s an important one.  I love him.  And he loves me, and you, and all of us.  Steven’s love is like Rose’s love, and it’s more.  You believe in him, don’t you?”

“Of course I do,” Lapis said gruffly.  She turned away, letting out a sigh.  Her head drooped forward, her hair hiding her face from Pearl.  After a moment she straightened up.  With a sweep of her arm, she raised a glass-thin wall of water, a shimmering screen through which the moon and stars trembled and blurred.  It smoothed and turned silvery, becoming a mirror that reflected Lapis, Pearl, the beach, the temple and the promontory behind it.  And then it showed home.

Tears welled up in Pearl’s eyes, and she blinked them away fiercely, wanting nothing to come between her and the view of the crystal spires of Matrix City.  They glowed with all the light and colour of the setting and rising suns.  Beyond the city was the sweep of Nacre Bay, the water glistening green and pleated with a myriad of ripples.

“Thank you,” she blurted.  She didn’t know why Lapis would show her this when she was so angry, but it was so beautiful it made the centre of her ache.  “Oh, thank you.”

“It’s not like this any more,” Lapis said sadly.  “Most of the bay has been reclaimed.  They don’t need Pearls any more since Peridots were developed.  A lot of the older towers were dismantled for materials for new projects.  It’s all… I don’t know, colder.  It doesn’t welcome you like it used to.  The new style is more aggressive.  The towers look like they’re stabbing the sky.”  She looked down at Pearl.  “I won’t show you that, though.  I’d like you to be able to remember it like this.  The way I used to remember it.  Maybe if I only look at it like this from now on, I’ll get back to remembering that way too.”

“Why are you showing me this?” Pearl ventured.  

“Because you love him so much it shines out of you.”  Lapis sat down again, closer to Pearl.  The mirror remained, but it shifted to show them the waterfalls at Quartzheim.  Pearl could hear the thunder of the water and almost feel the mist that made a perpetual fog at the falls’ base, laced with rainbows when the sun shone.  She remembered walking there with Rose, trying to match her pace perfectly, the mist beading Rose’s curls with tiny pink diamonds.  She remembered Rose smiling down at her, taking her hands, drawing her near, Rainbow Quartz being born among the rainbows and an infinity of love.  If only they could have fused forever!  The tears were pouring now and she wiped them away with both hands.

“Am I hurting you?” Lapis asked hesitantly.  “I wasn’t actually trying to hurt you.”

“No.  No, this is good, so good.  It’s almost like being there.”

“I wished so much that it would be you who saw me,” Lapis said.  “I thought you might know how I felt… that we might be the same.”

Pearl blinked and sniffed, wiping again.  She turned and took in the need in Lapis’ endlessly deep eyes, the hollow need that had been in the middle of her own self since she knew she had lost Rose, even before Rose was gone.

“Well,” she said quietly.  “I see you now.”


End file.
